Saturday, February 05, 2011

Yeah, Happy Chinese New Year to you too.

Probably the least Chinese-y, festive one yet. In other words, I had a day off, went for some tapas and a museum visit.

And came back to work where it went tits up. I made a big boo-boo aand now I feel so, so, so sorry and embarassed and worried about what I've inadvertedly done.

People not thinking you're working hard is a hard pill to swallow. Especially when it isn't true. After a life of overachieving, I've brought that principle and work ethic with me and I thought I'm doing okay. According to some people perhaps, it was wrong.

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing, y'know? 11 years of school, 2 years of college and 3+1 years in university later...where am I? Sales environment is so brutal. Your background doesn't matter unless it's one that's involved figures and margins and profits and revenues. I know in my heart of hearts I'm not cut out for it and never will be. I don't disdain it but I have no patience for the culture that comes with it.

'tis not me, enough said.

It's just that phrase made famous by some TVB actress.
I admit fate but I'll never admit defeat.

Also I recognise I cannot run away forever, and this is yet another lesson in life I need to learn. And in order to learn in I need to get on with it, and go through it.

It's the rat race and for what it's worth, I am part of it now. It's just life, innit?

Because of that phrase "not good enough", I spent years in uni over-compensating. And I know once I get over the chagrin, I will try to over-compensate, it's not that it hasn't happened yet, but the desired effect hasn't been achieved. It hurts, because I take it hard, I care too much, and take it personally.

What can I do? Just get on with this one and work hard.


This really, truly takes the cake for a Chinese New Year that never came.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

This is one story full of shit I've read.


Leong Chi Wei

Bachelor of Finance (Hons)

Class of March 2010

When I was a student in UTAR, "thinking" was my favorite activity as it enabled me to explore life and to understand further what life really was as well as my role and contribution towards family, friends and the community then.

I always ensure myself to develop plans and set goals to excel in all aspect of my life- family, friends, studies, curricular activities etc. It is all about being truly committed to achieve your goals set in order to make family & friends feel proud of you, and at the same time contributing to the community and nation building.

Very often, I find people tend to ignore the importance of goal setting in their lives and therefore would just head to nowhere and depend on how luck plays along the way. Without a target, a person is not motivated to achieve something that would benefit the family and community and that, in my opinion, is a very selfish act. When a person has the potential to do something that would benefit others, he should strive to achieve that.

While some may claim that they do set their goals, but how committed are they in achieving the goals? Unfortunately, more often than not, goals are not achieved simply due to lack of commitment resulted from low level of determination and perseverance.

With goals and commitment, I would say I am happy with my days in UTAR as a student representative who had contributed to the students' welfare and development. Time management skills came in handy then as I needed to balance my time for family, friends, studies, sports and student representative duties.

Presently I am a unit trust consultant with Public Mutual assisting clients in financial planning. It is always nice to help others improve their financial position as this would enable them to solve their financial problems and achieve financial freedom in future. Besides, those contributions are in line with Malaysia Vision 2020 to become a developed and a high-income nation and that is the reason I choose the career.

It's always not easy to make changes for better life but it is possible with a full commitment. To do that, first you need the courage to step out of your comfort zone and pledge to strive forward at any cost to achieve success in life that would eventually contribute to the society.

Lastly, feel free to drop me an email or text me to keep in touch with one another. Email: Hp No: 017-6593817.

This came through the UTARian January Newsletter. Glad I never participated in its self-praising fest, especially by inflated egos patronising the rest of his peers for being 'lesser'.

Sunday, January 09, 2011

Short musings

I had this thought in my head since yesterday, I think it came from something I watched on telly..maybe, possibly...I don't know, I have very short-term memory and my memory retention is close to nil these days. It may actually be fair to call me an air-head.

Ah, but I remember now. It was from the book I'm currently reading (Beautiful as Yesterday, Fan Wu). Something about a really good writing programme in Colombia.

At least I think that's Colombia...

Aaaanyway, point is, do you need to go through a programme (undergrad, postgrad, whatever) to be a good writer? Most probably not, but if I have the luxury of choosing, would I go to one? Well, not creative writing cos I just don't do creative writing, but critical thinking and writing, yes, in a heartbeat.

What makes reading someone's writing worthwhile? It's not enough that someone has a story to tell, but the story need to be told in an engaging way to capture an audience. There must be story development and not just skimming the surface of people, emotions, know the gist.

Like how lecturers moan that it's not enough to teach, they have to do it in an entertaining, informative way, droners go nowhere...but that's how it is, isn't it? I've said it years ago, charisma is important, and I'm glad this particular teenage wisdom of mine still holds true (although regrettably probably quite a few won't).

But also, I think in order to write, one must have something to say...which explains my lack of blogging, I suppose, because more often than not I have nothing to say that is of importance or amusement enough to warrant a sit down and a think.

Hell, I don't bother dissecting much myself, and reading Xiaxue's longer blogs sometimes make me realise she's written well thought-out arguments, and bothered to put them in a logical sequence.

Suppose that's what writing's all about, no?

I think writing allows me to think, to piece together my thoughts, to elaborate on what I'm thinking, and to put it all in a logical order. I'm thinking right now as I type. This is the random thought in my mind right this second.

I wonder if this is the thought process of most people, or do they think first, and then put it down and set it in stone, so to speak?

I really did enjoy the practicalities and learning of media in uni, and I really actually do miss it. I want to go back in time to savour it all once more, not that I wasn't aware the first time around. I do regret not carrying on with media studies and picked up politics instead (what was I thinking, ack!), but it's now in the past, who knows, one day, maybe I can afford to go back to school. Now I cannot, and now I have a job to go to and bills to pay and life to carry on, but I'm glad that just reading about writing ignited thoughts in my head that I haven't had in a while.

Passion, passion is something I need to find, a reason to live and a meaning of life.