Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Endings internship that is.

Started yesterday, ended today.

Learned some, gained some and need more. Money, that is.

To the great job search, again.

I'm dejected, in truth...It drains the will of living out of a person, making one feel so insecure and inadequate of one's inabilities. But that's the way it is here, and I chose this path, so I will walk on.

Bruges was great, I will do a good blog post on it very soon, but on the ferry home...the dark waters beneath the ferry looked so inviting. It'd be so easy to just...jump in. While I'm still ahead. But is the situation bad enough? At all? Was I crazy? It is NOT end of the road for me.

So I took a moment to take stock, to look at the bigger picture. Yes, maybe it's time to go. Better now than in a year's time, when I still have not much to show, and not because of what I am incapable of. At least now I take away the most of what I have done; what I could do, but not have the opportunity to...and put it to good use elsewhere. "Free reins" was just an excuse, I'm not a salesperson.

I know what motivates me: That paycheque, the knowledge that what I do meant something, good communication and camaraderie, and that there's a team of supportive, equally enthusiastic workmates alongside me.

Will come back when I'm more cheery. Meanwhile, one gotta plod on.

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