I wish I can press a reset button, erase certain things I've seen and done.
I wish I hadn't fucked up.
I wish I can relearn rights and wrongs.
I wish I live in more blacks and whites, and not slink from one shade of gray to another and another.
I wish I made more prudent choices, and not live to regret them.
I wish I am not tormented by all this and knowing that I've done it to myself single-handedly.
I wish I knew where to go from here.
I wish I can have the faith, for just a moment, that things will sort themselves out.
I wish I can finally stop fighting, and start accepting.
I wish I can release these personal demons haunting me.
I wish for wisdom, patience and faith.
I wish I can still believe, hope and dream.
It's not too late...
Nor is it impossible.
I'd like to believe so.
Disclaimer: I'm okay. I really am. Just middle of the night, stressed out. Lesson is, if I expect a lot from myself, I better start performing. And find the bloody motivation to do so instead of a million other whimsical distractions.