Wednesday, March 21, 2007

A blog...and a reblog.

28 Mar 2006
Time: 23:48

Oh. FUCK! I just lost 30 minutes worth of writing! By accidentally clicking Back! DAMN!

Sigh. Let me rewrite.

I wrote:

Hey people (or those who still come visiting my blog) of the world!
Puiyee blogging tonight!
Jump for the joy of it!
Cos its rare she's writing these days!
Aha! Aha! Aha!
Yeah yeah!
(Mic sounds and CD spinning and oyeah! oyeah! background)

Sorry about the bad verse above, just wanted to relive this moment at campus when one day after class we (Esther, WenXin, Darlene, Meikeng and some other people) were at the foyer waiting for someone to get out of toilet (its always someone in and out of toilets or refilling their bottles, innit, girls?) and saw a whiteboard bearing a recruitment for UTAR Ball committee. We had an impromptu jam session:

Utar Ball! Utar Ball!
Oyeah oyeah!
Baby baby! *sound effects)
Come! Come! Don't miss it, don't miss it...

Something to that effect. Its not funny here but back there, in the foyer, it was one of the best moments we had this semester. Such is the misery we had, haha.

Must admit, amidst all this light moments, lay a deep, dark secret, and now that group assignments and presentations are said and done, I will apologize (just like I know I would next sem...and next sem...and next sem...) to each and every person I've been too hard, too insensitive, pushed too hard and generally not nice to. I know, I know. This semester I've been exceptionally out-of-control, controlling superbitch. I did not know, but now, in retrospect, I'm kind of a perfectionist. I like my things just so, and I expect everyone to follow this standard I dictated. I know, the real motive is to keep up what I've started last semester, and in the process push everyone to suit my purpose. Boy, that sounded really bad even to me.

And, if this were a bad pseudo-religious blog, I'd recite:
"Forgive me, for I have sinned. I have committed the sins of being angry, being grumpy, being nasty, insensitive, sarcastic and being too hard and judgmental on people. I have angered and been angered, I have procrastinated, lied, blamed and justifying myself. I also took a great dislike on a new lecturer and therefore been pissed at her and got into a slight misbehavior in her class not amounting to being rude outright, and gotten screwed by her. Therefore, I now have a lusting, sorry, lasting bad thoughts for her that will haunt me for the rest of my uni-life. And oh, I've been stalking someone, too. Amen".

Thank goodness this is no religious blog, ahaha! I got that kind of talk from a book I manage to loan from library and finish in one night: Ten Thousand Sorrows, Elizabeth Kim. Would say her book is engaging except the religious parts, people who know me well know how I view Christianity and I even manage to loan and finish another book, title forgotten but its about 2 women in Jordan, one a Muslim, another a Catholic and the Muslim woman fall in love with a Catholic man and was killed for that and the Catholic woman who wrote that book now had to flee Jordan for writing the story down. Sorry to say that book didn't appeal to me, unlike many Middle Eastern feminine books I've read in the past. I skipped and speedread and finished that book in one single tutorial (well it wasn't MY tutorial and people were just giving presentations) and gave it back to the library. I'm proud to say I've been good with books, recently, I've just finished Memoirs of a Geisha (again) and Narnia and Yellow Girls and The Sky Is Crazy. Tried to but fail to get engaged in Arundhati Roy's acclaimed debut The God of Small Things. I don't know, the written style. Something didn't appeal to me.

Reminded me, Shirley Geok-lin Lim was on campus giving a supposed talk on Asian-American Women writers the other day and the bitch-lecturer made attendence compulsory and I realise we've gotten duped cos for what she made this compulsory? To replace what class, exactly? And the point is, Shirley was just there to promote her book, Sister Swing. I remembered I never bought and read her books for a reason before, but when she talk about the book I admit I had the thought to buy it, afterall, I lose nothing, but then, when she started reading from a chapter, I remember it well. As much bullshit as she want to say about promoting Manglish, to me it's what it says - Mangled English (as opposed to Malaysian English). I like my books in perfect english, perhaps peppered with local styles and innuendo, but still, structured, well-written sentences, thank you very much. Catherine Lim's The Bondmaid was another dismay to me, the first half was good, but the last half with sudden ghost popping out and fly here and there eras and I lost it there and then.

The Sky Is Crazy is kind of pricey for the kind of book it is, but it was a delightful read, I'd say. Light and short anecdotes of being an airstewardess in the late 80s through early 90s. Local writer, Yvonne Lee. I won't ask you to buy it, but if you know someone who owns it, borrow and read it. Cos it's the kind of book where you pick it up once and finish it, and then you won't wanna read it again. Coffeetable book.

I HAVE been reading some, eh. So proud of myself. Che wah.

And lately, movies were kind of out of the question, with me working til late last month and tight schedules and all. In fact it was Darlene who dragged me to Pink Panther and I've got nothing to rave about it. Honestly, movies always disappoint me because I think I crave depth and good storylines. Pink Panther was just a dumb, slap-stick comedy with a few funny moments to compensate for the lack of depth and storyline. And there was no Panther prancing around like I thought there would be! That's what I get for not reading reviews beforehand. Hanbuerger, damnburger, bobuger...that was one of the best parts, the Smart Car whacking the bumpers off the parked cars directly in front and behind it was a pure, untainted mockery of French drivers and their antics and the wall-to-marble-to-wall part was something we're still imitating once in a while in class. Other than that. Nah.

Amelia finally borrowed me Memoirs of a Geisha (well, everyone told me not worth paying the tickets for) and maybe cos I watched the DVD on my computer at 3-something am (well the movie ended nearly 6am) but I found it dreadful. True, I like the parts where Mameha was changing Chiyo into Sayuri, the scene-changing and costumes was breathtaking, but other than that, the movie was contritely unforgivably bad. The storyline was pretty faithful to the book (with a few major chop choppings) but the beginning, middle and end did not tell fully the essense of the memoir. A lot of backstories are missing and ...well...once again, movie fall short of my expectations. Fine it's a lot of Hollywood and they need to sell it to the general public who WILL NOT read the book before and after the movie. Its another Harry Potter-effect, again. The movie simply do not justify the book and yet I will stil go and watch every Harry Potter release, critisizing and comparing it to the great books. And I'm disappointed they killed my imagination once again by putting in concrete ideas of certain parts of the book in my brain. Like, now Sayuri will forever remain in my mind as a waif looking exactly like Zhang Zi Yi. Speaking of waif, Michelle Yeoh's stick-and-bone figure seriously disgusted me. Is that how girls are supposed to look like today? Should I feel, once again, non-existent and guilty for being fat? Bah.

Brokeback Mountain still sitting on my desk. Should I watch it? A gay friend said it was great, but I think he's biased, for once there's a movie representing PLU and he downloaded it and gave it rave reviews. I dunno. Cowboy movies didn't appeal to me, but then again I did love "Love Comes Softly" when it was on Hallmark. Heh my dear Hobbit, one day I'll watch it.

Still am sad about leaving my job, cos I really didn't want to resign, but Trump said it, "Nothing personal, it's just business". Feel so lost on weekends nowadays, haha! But am filling it lately by watching A LOT of Commonwealth Games Melbourne in action. Like, tv's tuned to 83, 902 and 903 almost permanently except 8.30-10.30pm when my mom and bro watch the HK series. Will tell ya, I jumped for joy watching the first gold in weightlifting, I cried when Nicol David lost the bronze to Shelley Kitchen (on a Monday), I was bored but still watch the lawn balls and a lot of gymnastics, I was commenting my mom Ng Shu Wei's smile must cost millions since he look despondent and stressed and his tongue-sticking at the end of his last routine was endearing, I watched and sing Negaraku along with the crowd for the mixed badminton gold, and was disappointed when Yeoh Ken Nee had to withdraw due to high temperature and Leong Mun Yee thanks to the spectacular fall she took, but still, Bryan Nickson went and sit just below the world's best...I drooled over Despatie, ehehe, and watched Durratun and Chrystal in action for their rhythmic gymnastics. Alexendre Orlando with her 6 golds. I was in a 11-day coccoon of awe. I know, strange from someone who don't do sports (yah, yah, make some snide remarks, I hear that). Friend even said I don't need to read the papers, asking me was faster and more up-to-date, heh. Go Games! 2006 is great, there's Winter Olympics (still drooling over Dale Bags-Smith hoho), Commonwealth, and Footie World Cup. Yummmmmy.

Ehe, I suppose I should throw in some studying, hor? Final exams schedule just posted on Intranet. Sigh, this sucks. Holidays, I think I will travel. I have some thinking to do, some self-searching overdue. And I think I earned some me-time as well la.

I wanna go out with Jun Hoe, and also LC and Gianne. Its getting more and more difficult to see friends whose life circles barely touch yours.

See, actually when I want, I have a lot to say, too much, haha. And the floodgate's been opened. I'll stop here for the time being, though God knows when I'll next blog. There are times when I wanted to close shop, y'know? But I'll still write, cos...I! Sheesh I have MANY words at the tip of my tongue but can't grab it. My disappearing vocab!

Atta girl :)

knight made this comment,
who is those ppl like to dash in and out to the toilet ? sure is leng lui ? Am i rite ? :p

Jun Hoe made this comment,
Hehe, wow..kinda miss you too. And erm, to a certain extent, gianne and lc too. And amelia too. Haha. well we'll try to find one day free k.. There's not really much holidays for me as after my finals, I'll be starting my industrial training.
Cheers and take care k.

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