13 Jan 2007
It's a sad, sad thing when you're so bored, you blog from work.
I don't get it (well, I do). Just cos we're interns we have a grueling 9am-5.30pm workdays that we must comply with no matter how busy/free you are.
I guess it's a perk we get to go home early (almost on the dot) but the coming in early thing...I was just sitting here, asleep because in my HUGE newsdesk office room, there's only 2 of my classmates, and 2 other persons - a journalist, and the Officer-in-Charge (OC) of the day.
It's the 3rd day in a row now we have absolutely nothing to do, no news to follow, whatever. They quit sending us out to press conferences, even. There's cartoons on TV3, but meh, who cares.
Maybe I should check Channel [V] out.
I want to go back to sleep.
Okay, nothing on Channel [V].
It's like whatever we do here, the news we write, all our efforts are such useless things that they're not even considered to be used. Bylines? I'd be happy they even print out a small article of mine.
I guess its a huge dose of humble-dom when you know you're just a small minion, an intern, in an overstaffed newsdesk. I'll ask for a transfer I guess, before I get too attached to ...what, the pantry watercooler?
I don't know la, I just cannot see myself doing this kind of journalism for the next 2? 20? years. I want a more society/human focus thing, like, Discovery or even Travel Channel, Food Network...because the mere thought of chasing after national news...I guess I'm a wimp.
That small voice inside my head alternates between don't like la! Don't want la!
And when I get home, and go online, all my friends sound so happy and God forbid, perky, that I feel like singlehandedly make them as miserable as I am. Misery loves company, no? Of course I wouldn't but, I'd give a lot to be not tired and feeling dreadful and drained simply from doing nothing.
I missed classes and the academic world, believe it or not. Checked out universities and the Chevening scholarships one day when I had a lot of time (what one day? It was many) and damn I want it. I want it bad. I even checked out the job opportunities available at Discovery. I'm desperate, you can hear it.
Three months of industrial training will pass. But it's time, really really time to rethink about my future. I'm not ruling out print journalism, but I can safely say, its not going to be my priority. But newspaper journalists make more money than magazine journalists (!!!). How now, how now?
And may I say, I have contempt for people who're all self-importance cos they're cool, they're hype or whatever and speak English and play guitars and is popular. I was annoyed to the point of asking, "Hey. I've been standing here for 10 minutes now. Am I invisible?" You know what was his answer?
"OH! I didn't know it was you! New haircut!"
What was that? I was standing diagonally in front of him, talking with his FRIEND, and he looked another direction all the time. Seriously, if you think you're so cool, you can go to hell in my books. Don't give me attitude because I can give you some back. Sonofabitch.
[defensive] If I want to report on fluffy things, does that make me a less worthy journalist? Do I need to do the hardcore, war-zone, fights-at-parliament, disaster-struck news? Even if I know I'm not liking it? Do I even want to report at all? Can I be a photographer instead? [/defensive]
I don't know.
Hand me my gum gum, dumb dumb already.
Jenna made this comment,
hey my lovely... yea, indeed sucks on the first week.. same here with me.. did nothing but cleaning the writer's desk and organising the cupboard... hahaha.. i miss ya all hell lotss la.. come out and have a drink this week... will let ya know of the time and venue.. if possible, we go kl la.. cuz Darlene is there.. so its convenient for her la... but we'll see how la... miss u heaps..~!!