16 Dec 2005
Everyday you learn about something new. And I learn about something incredibly unbelievable today...
I learnt that for some people, all it takes is a short while to agree to date someone and become steady. Like, 3 days. Like, 1 week. Wow. I thought it takes more than that to start a relationship. A lot more understanding about the other person, a lot of considering if you're compatible. But, meet-chase-date in the space of a few days? Wow.
I learnt to take hurt and take it lightly. I learnt to put aside the tears and not to examine words further to test whether it break bones...or soul. And I learnt to accept a person as it is.
Some people are just big-mouthed. Whether or not they mean to hurt, the things they say affects you. I thought I was direct. This...this is 100% on-target kind of hit, the kind that is so accurate it pierces through your heart and slices it cleanly into half. And yet...in the end, he never meant to hurt.
"Pui Yee, don't think about him la. You're out of his league."
Ouch, really. Double ouch. And ouch again. You know it, but hearing it from someone else...hurts til the tears actually made an appearance and threaten to pop out of my eyelids. I mean, sure, the guy's cute, I have hots for him, but...let me to my own daydreaming, will ya not? All I want to do is look across the walkway and oogle at him non-stop. But I told myself I will not cry over this. It's a small matter. And ...somehow, deep down, yah it holds a ring of truth.
Really what is lacking in me anyway?
Guys telling me they'd go after me...if only I'm thinner? To hell with my weight...take it or leave it la.
I understand if it comes from this one person - he give looks a lot of weightage (excuse the pun) anyway. He's shallow that way, and I accept that about him. Because he makes a good listener and talker otherwise. And I know it's impossible with him anyway. Coming from someone else, someone I gave more credit to, someone I thought better of...well. I'm disappointed.
Sure. I'm cute. Charming. Motor mouth. Generous. Smart. Intelligent. Wise.
But yah, I'm fat.
....outta yer league?
*Sigh* If that's the case, so be it la. I accept.