blogging@work

3 Feb 2007
Time: 09:09

This must be the earliest...EVER I've ever blogged. Well, earliest ever from the time I wake up to the point where I blog.

I woke up slightly less than hour ago. Within that span of time, I got dressed and sped to work. Only to find, well, as usual, no assignments. Not too sure I'm happy or sad about that though...it means I can laze, but also mean it's another day of staying under the radar and do not much.

I can't believe in a month since I start work I'm already getting slovenly and lazy. This work is tiring, yo, and although I am happy about assignments and going out and the flexibility and the unpredictability, I just...well, sometimes I wonder where is this headed to.

There are many times I felt like blogging, but when I actually got to a computer, I'm just too tired to. Or too lazy. There are many things I'd like to say, to express, but all lost in time, because well, I didn't bother to.

One thing: Woohoooooohooooo to Zabrina and Jo Jer for winning Amazing Race Asia! Them spunky ladies are the first all-female team to win a race, ever, so women, I merakamkan setinggi-tinggi tahniah and man, you girls are inspiring! Makes it so, so, so sweet that they're Malaysians too.

The other day, I insisted on watching the midnight slot of American Idol and as it turns out, AI starts at 11pm. So when I rush downstairs at 11.15pm, my mom was hogging the tv on her usual spot and I just burst into tears. I'm not sure why, it's not big deal but I felt kinda hurt that she didn't call me although she's aware AI started. She gave me the remote control and I tuned into AI at 11.20pm...only to fall asleep somewhere in the region between 11.40pm and 11.50pm. My mom was like "jeesh what's wrong with you silly girl?!!"

I couldn't take it. I switched it off and went to bed.

The next day was a public holiday (not sure if it was thaipusam or FT holiday, but who cares?) so not many people were in the office and not only did I catch AI LA, I caught Heroes pilot, TWO Oprah Winfrey shows (one in the morning, the other at 1pm) and NCIS. I lose interest in soap operas General Hospital and the Bold and Beautiful. I'm going to buy Heroes DVD.

Oh. Yes. Wednesday when we got back from Batu Caves assignment, we went on the Pasar Seni LRT and Yee Nee and I were on the escalator, talking and pointing at the sights outside. Then after we left the escalator and took two steps, this fooker actually came on front of us and yelled us in Cantonese (he's not Chinese) that "why you don't use your brains? People want to use the escalator. The two of you stand there and hog the steps I cannot walk through, stupid".

I was so enraged, I yell back "hello, probably it's our fault, but why can't you say the word "excuse me" or something? If you said that we'd let you pass through. Don't yell after everyone got off the escalator. There's this whole stretch of opportunity and you said nothing and then decide to yell after we got off the escalator? What the hell is your problem?"

The only reply he gave was, "why should I say excuse me? Why didn't you use your brains? You have no brains!"

He yelled that again and again and again, and whadyaknow, for all his rush, we still ended up in the same LRT. Man, he is a bastard, a fooker and a sonnabitch.

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!

*pant pant*

Climbing up Batu Caves was actually kind of spiritual. It helped I was going up and down all 17 floors of Menara Star cos there were 272 steps and I was only slightly out of breath. If I were to climb before I started internship, I probably would collapse at step 100. I was with all these people of another religion, piercing themselves, bringing milk, climbing the steps on the knees, crawling up - for thanksgiving, to make vows and wishes...the faith they have, their belief make me a little ashamed. I'm a person of little faith and would make no sacrifices, yet I could understand why they're doing this. I'm grateful that I actually did the Batu Caves assignment - otherwise I wouldn't be bothered to climb up and realise how beautiful the caves really are. Seriously, it's beautiful up there. I'd tell every single traveller passing by KL to go see Batu Caves.

Well, my girlfriends went to Singapore and came back. I half-wished I could go with them, cos I miss their company. Maybe not Singapore, I'd go with them to Bangkok or Bali or something, but sounded like they had a lot of fun. I'm stuck here and our schedules never really matched...but somehow, sometimes, I wonder if we coulda put more effort into trying. I feel slighted sometimes, left out...like, do I mean much or not at all? And then there's the out-of-loop feeling. Sometimes I really let myself go out of the loop. Partly my fault; I'm lazy about calling and asking. But is it entirely my fault? Like I said, effort on our parts.

Went to Bukit Bintang yesterday with Gianne. She got this pair of cute boots that I'd never wear if I'm to buy it, but it looks good. We went to Tengkat Tong Shin to check out the backpackers' hostels there, and I wished so badly I'm part of that crowd, that life. But who knows, right?

Ask, and you shall receive.

Sometimes I think I think in circles. Narrow view of life, only from my, me, I point of perspective. That I should open up my horizons and accept variety and difference. That there are many ways to reach a goal and that compromising is part of life. Giving and taking, and thinking about alternatives. If I barge through life, I'll only make life hard for myself. I wished I'm a more discreet, subtle, sweeter-tempered and EQ-gifted person. Sometimes I wish I can manipulate my own facial expressions and join in the rat-race of pretenses and fakers, because you know why? They're the clever people, the smart ones who'll be able to move up and fast.

It takes time for people to warm up to me, and I to them, and not everyone has that time, or want to. Who am I afterall?

Comments:
Amelia made this comment,
Aiyoh babeeee....don't feel out of the loop la. What loop. No loop wei. I'm having exams. Chenn is I don't know...at home? Haha...Sing Yieng is non-existent. See no loop. Because we're not doing anything at all.
And how many times have I told you to be patient abit. After my exams then we can together gether go out. And honestly, alot of times I don't even know when you would be free. You need to ajak us out sometimes also la. Not only mamak sessions but kai kai sessions which I do sorely miss cos it seems like a gazillions years since we went out. At least you and Chenn get to like go to Sg.wang together. I on the other hand...I don't even remember. Since The Curve I think..Wanna go out with my girly wirlys! Kenny can take a back seat cos I need my girlfriends' attention. So please do not hesitate to call me out because I have a bf because that would totally break my widdle heart.

So yeah. Anyway my exam's tmr. Mamak on monday? Game or not? Here's a invitation! Yeay!

Sorry for the horrible manglish. I'm so freaking stressed out yo. EXAM TOMORROW!!

PLease don't kill me for the heavy note of perkiness in this comment yah.

Much love. Your best friend, Me. XD