6 Feb 2006
I'm blogging in the early evening this time...whee. I'm not:
2) at work
3) in class
4) stuck in a jam
Well it wasn't a very good new year this time around...no house guests, for one thing...we're eating all the cookies ourselves and my bro's making himself diabetic drinking up Pepsi like he found an oasis.
And it was the very first time I'm working throughout New Year week. And some of the customers were shitty beyond belief, and I told off a customer for the first time, and he's a Caucasian obnoxious rude prat.
Not to mention the way my car broke down and no workshop is open to fix it.
And to top it all off, the cherry on top of the pie, the whipped cream on top of your Coffeebean Ice Blended, I was sick the entire week. Still am, actually.
And for once, completely friendless to do anything at all.
Yeah I'm feeling pretty miserable, I am.
There's classes tomorrow, and I didn't do anything like I said I will try to, I didn't come up with ideas for our Reality TV presentation, I didn't draft out a questionnaire for English and I only just organized my notes into files. I haven't paid RM266 to the book supplier, someone's textbook is still with me, I've forgotten to photocopy Interpersonal Comm textbook and I have no idea what the pile of photocopied notes in my car is for.
Everything felt like it's hanging, undone.
And after clubbing the other night I went to work the next evening and I broke down in front of William and cried. I was so tired and working is *cramping my style* so to speak. Still wondering if the paltry sum is worth sacrificing my social life for. For once, the words "wanna quit" is rearing it's ugly butt in my mind. I think I need just some little more convincing and I'm done. Afterall, come down to it, without the money I can still manage. Even better, I can ask, without even needing to earn.
Why do I stay, really. Ask myself. Its not just the colleagues anymore. Beyond that, I really do love selling Swatch as a brand. I like fixing Swatch watches, I like waiting for new seasons and new stocks, I like Swatch as an institution. Heck, I'll even consider working for Swatch at management level once I'm done with my degree. That is the "why" I guess...
But retail line is burning me. I wonder how people did it for 4 entire years. I wonder how do people start at the bottom rang, the entry level and manage to wait and slog til they climb up slightly. I wonder how people make this their career. For me I'm already feeling the tediousness, albeit slightly. My life is not meant to be spent this way, my sanity screamed. My hour is not worth that little.
I don't want to leave home before everyone wakes up and come home after everyone sleeps. I don't know if it's rain or shine outside, I don't know if aliens invaded the planet or if another calamity strikes. It's all the same being inside a building all day long. Turnover in retail is huge. A lot of us view it as a temporary place to be, to spend a few months doing something rather than being idle waiting for something better.
I want more than this. My degree will be my passport. Yup.
melia made this comment,
oi! Can we like hang out ah? I damn long time neber hang out with you larrr....find a time and tell me la yah...i don't mind idle strolls in a park or a bumbum warming session in starbucks...anything. beep me. I need to go out.
melia the belia