31 Jul 2006
People, people. Relax!
Pui Yee not yet die!
Wow been one whole month eh, I didn't blog.
How did July 2006 pass me by? By being utterly boring, full of assignments and busy busy busy procrastinating.
I been whining to one too many person about how boring university is. To my friends, to my ex-colleagues, to random people I chat with, to regulars I chat with, to lecturers (for God's sake!) so I'm armed with a new determination - to STOP whining!
That and to clean up my language and dirty mind. See, er, I been chatting in adult chatrooms where conversations are a little more explicit and then we had a presentation called Media and Culture: Football, and I talked about how Adidas does charity by distributing used balls to disadvantaged youth worldwide and walao, everytime I mention the word balls, I started giggling. In the middle of presentation in CLASS.
Man, I need some more class than that. Balls *giggle*
I want to hide my face in a sack there and then.
Other than that, my social life grinded to a stop I guess. I see no one else out of class, well except a movie or two. Most weekends I'm stuck home because I've spent so much in June (like, over RM1000, I kept going to ATM machines) and guess what, even with eating chap fan during lunch hours and a movie (Superman, which sucked, so don't waste your money and time) and spending like, RM60 on that day, my expenditure this month is the grand total offffffff....*drum roll* RM300! *ta da!* (Minus petrol. Swiping credit cards don't count, alright? Cos I ask permission before I do so everytime)
I want to go back to Sungai Wang and check if Grey's Anatomy is out already or not...not watching it on TV seems such a good plan because I can have overnight marathons with my DVDs but I didn't count on the good authorities to swoop down and close shop :( And getting it (pirated) on ebay involves USD30 shipping fees which I'm NOT going to pay. Yes I'm a criminal.
But you know, I believe it now...no matter how hard/stupid/crappy a matter is, as long as it's not earth-shattering or involves huge losses, in the end, it'll be okay. Drama sometimes follow me around but I avoid it like a plague in uni, I used to want to stand out so bad I don't mind being a sore thumb but now I learn to use the one standing out as a shield (it DOESN'T matter, people will know if you're good, you're good. If you're lousy and try to hide it, you're still lousy) and I stay at the back, assessing quietly, carefully.
And chatroom drama taught me one reaction I should apply in real life: Assess.
Don't make assumptions. Ask around discreetly, find out the story from different point of views. Don't lash out. Give it some time. If it has nothing to do with you, don't hop in and join the fight. And, give it time. Oh, and apologize even if you're right.
Sigh, now, put that in real life - Failed. I behaved so badly with one certain inept monkey of a tutor, nothing can retract my behavior now. Egad, if I can undo anything...it's to take back the fiery rage and give it ICE so that he knows in no uncertain terms we're not stupid; if its his mistake and he tries to put back the blame on us, it's not working. I haven't seen a person with such a zero sense of responsibility and its shocking to see him fabricate excuses and reasons and make it sound like he's so right and we're so wrong. So sheltered, huh, us?
And I will apologize to my friends who are just as angry at him as I am but acted far more maturely about it, and didn't give me shit for being so childish, and I know one more time who are the real mature people; and those who are in the end, just apple polishers, and cowards, and slaves to formats, paragraphs, correctness and marks.
Apple polishing is not my thing. That much I know years ago. I don't kiss people's ass. I have more pride than that. If I like you, I like you. If I don't, I don't. Simple enough. But human interaction is not black and white. It's all shades of grey. This is what I learn now. Sometimes, I know I don't like certain people and they don't like me either but we can get along/or ignore each other without being petty. That is a good thing, I guess, compared to people who pretends to be oh-so-nice to you but are dripping venom the moment you turn back from them.
Okay enough pondering. I have 2 more pages to write :( When will assignments EVER end?
erizabesu made this comment,
it will end when you graduate!!!
keep it up!!! hubba hubba hubba!!