Friday, March 23, 2007

Year that was 2006

1 Jan 2007
Time: 04:36

Well here is the obligatory year-end blog. The blog that summarizes the entire 2006.

Its been a long, colourful year, I guess. I never went to so many places like I did this year (though Amelia must’ve outdone me by far by going to Penang, what was it, 3 times?) and I sure learnt a bit more, become a lil bit wiser, and still the same bitchiness and bitterness.

In 2006 I did not fall in love. That is a sad confession isn’t it? It’s so difficult to find guys you’d even consider suitable and worthy as a partner. Many people are shocked at the number of singles (who’re attractive, intelligent and actually owns a personality) in this part of the world. What’s wrong with your men, they ask. Hoo boy, wish I know.

Looks like I’m not the only girl hard hit by the seemingly lack of suitable suitors though (excuse the pun). Recently, news splashed across our headlines (and Singapore’s) of our men “buying” and marrying Vietnamese girls instead of locals.

Local girls are too educated, too fiery and too opinionated.

Oh yeah?

So my question is, how come the gentlemen hasn’t caught up? It IS 2006 AD and while my sisters are moving ahead with rapid speed, it seems the brethren have fallen behind. Is it now our fault that we’re too far ahead of far too many men? Are they intimidated? Turned off? Scared? Shy? Or are they still holding out for girls they can control, girls who are docile, passive and obedient?

Well, in that case, good luck buying a marriage. I’ll say with confidence and a bit of sarcasm that sorry, my sisters and I won’t bat an eyelid at you either.

Perhaps you gotta evolve and move along with us girls, afterall, men has ruled the earth for millenniums and the earth’s still a pretty fucked up place. Who knows with a switch, good may come out of it? Who knows anything about anything, right? (This quote did not come from me, it came from a guy!)

In 2006, friendships grew stronger, friendships faded off. I did get a glimpse of what is it like...flitting, brief, but it’s enough for me to take a step back and reevaluate. I’m happy with my status now. Don’t need to change a thing.

In 2006, I flew to Penang with my girlfriends, went to Yunnan in China alone, sort of backpacked to Singapore in October and traveled there again with Gianne for Christmas.

Now I am determined more than ever to find a way to earn enough money to backpack – we’re going to do the SE Asia circuit first (Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Myanmar, hopefully, even Bali) then, we’ll see. Who knows? Europe will be so amazing. And then there’s USA. And South America.

In 2006, I’m still stuck in a rut, perhaps worst than ever, by being addicted to online chatting and not going out and meeting more people. But where should we go? How do we meet people? Our social circles’ this small and it’s not pancakes to widen it. It gets bland and stale, because no matter where you go, or what you do, you meet the same people, or at least, same type of people, over and over, til you get so fed up, you’d say, screw it.

I sure have faith that there are people on the same wavelength as my friends and I, just the question, where? It’s not that I am saying we’re as proud, delusional and egocentric as to be rigid and unchanged and not make friends with different types of people. Strictly speaking for myself, it takes me a while to accept difference, though I have learnt to respect difference more than ever. I guess I’m just really stupid this way. And stubborn.

And, have you ever had the feeling of knowing you want to go somewhere, you know how to get there, but then, its not a clear cut method, and somewhere along the way, you lose sight of your goal, and the way to go there?

That feeling hopelessness engulfs you and makes you feel useless and paralysed and want to give in to the ebbs and flow of life and you feel like you’re contented to just plod along. And in no time, discover you’re dragging your feet, with a long face and a defeated sigh.

I’ve got goals. I know how to get there. But the getting there, the battling the demons in my head, scars from the past and fear of the unknown, voices from within as well as from people without (and a considerable amount of laziness) are all holding me back.

When faced with actual choices and decisions you have to make...Change is a terrifying thing.

But I am welcoming 2007 and all it will bring with open arms. Its been good, but I know it could’ve been better, it will be better. I deserve to be nicer to myself, and God knows, everyone around me deserve more niceness from me.

This internet slow-down is a bit of a pain, but now I know how much we took internet speed, the connectivity and those fragile fibre optic cables for granted. I can’t upload pictures or email my newfound friends and I’m not even sure I can post this blog on time. Though I agree the news articles in Star about bloggers whining about not being able to blog and vent about their emotions and feelings pathetic. Do something productive for once, I guess, instead of sitting there shivering because you can’t get your daily 8-hour of online gaming.

People lost homes, people died from that earthquake (er, right?), and down south in Johor, there are people made homeless by floods. Saddam Hussein got executed, people got murdered, women got raped and children starve in the streets. And you’re whining about not having the Internet for a few days and because of that you can’t blog or game?

Come on. What are we, shallower than the flatlands of Holland?

Cheers 2006.

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