25 May 2003 00:13
At the moment
Song: Innocent - Our Lady Peace
My brain is saying: Sometimes, we all need a break.
This entry will be a tribute to one of my oldest friends. No, she's alive and kicking, but she's sometimes angry, sad and perhaps frustrated because she is who she is.
Let me describe her. She's short in stature, looks demure and sweet, with cute little dimples on her cheek when she smile and do sometimes mumble. But don't let that befuddle you; she's a dynamite can of red hot chilli! I remember we weren't friends in primary school, well, not exactly, but in the way small children did, we were in different camps that tries to win the `approval' of the prettiest girl of all. Not that it matter. 10 years later, no contacts were made whatsoever with that pretty girl. My friendship with my dynamite friend developed, paradoxically, years after we separated.
I've always admired her from day one. She's really, really different from a lot of people. She fights to be her own person, to maintain her individuality and finding an out from the norm. Maybe I'm not so different. There's so many shades of colours in the human characteristics, why conform to the norm? Deep down, I know the answer is because it's the easiest. As months crawl into years and teenage angst exhaust itself, I find the fight, the rebel tires me. Being `normal' is not so bad afterall. True, I'm still not too crazy about conversations that requires you to list the 5 cutest boy in your year and discuss who'll take the top seat, I'm even less pleased about discussing about the la-la girls in my school. In short, yes, I'm a self-centred, disinterested person who don't discuss someone's boobs or butt.
Back to my friend. In a way, she's really really sensual. Sensual, you dolt, is in the word SENSE, not sex. She describes even the most mundane situation or scene or anything in a unique way, in a complex way so little people is able to. I'm amazed she can find humour in a grim situation, yet it's not crass. It's simply down-to-earth, a private laugh we all need after a bad day. Even after SHE had a bad day. Everything she said is witty, clever, sardonic and morbidly funny, you can't help but wonder how she does it. Me, I don't have a humour bone in me. Serious=Pui Yee. More then anything, I admire her talent of discribing vividly her senses.
But maybe, in a way, while finding herself, she lost herself. Sounds ironic, but true. Many people go far to find themselves only to go home and found it. Cliched, but all cliches are true. Or they won't be called cliches, right? I hope she won't feel so sad or angry anymore, I pray we can all find our place in the world and stand with dignity and pride. All I can say is, to know her is your luck and to turn her away is your lost. Maybe she dances to the beat of a different drum, but hey, who can stand dancing to the same 4 beats over and over again? People like her are one in a million and while I don't believe friendships are forever, I hope ours lasts through the many many years in front of us.
Carpe Diem, my friend!
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