Saturday, March 17, 2007


14 Aug 2003 15:05
At the moment
Song: One Sweet Day
Mood: Insignificant
What I had last: Nasi lemak in school with drink
My brain is saying: that I'm depressive
Time: 14:55
Wishlist: Olympus M[mju:]400 Digital Camera or Kodak Easy Share. I really really really need this current one worked like Stone Age and if anyone have RM1k+ to spare...

...I know. High time to update my blog, and I promise to shut up about that Academy thingy until there's a necessity for it. I'm amazed at the mass of humanity in my blog, 4100 at last count. I'm confused. Should I give credit to it for all the hits, or should I be annoyed because they're here not for my blog, but for their ill-directed wishes?

Incredibly, I've been on invisible on ICQ for the past few times I'm online, and I'm never on invisible. What I do online other then chatting, I do not know. Well, right after I finish this I'll go straight offline.

What's there to say? Since Saturday, I had 4 days of classes, 3 more driving lessons and a heavier heart. Exams loom ahead, yet I'm still here, idling away. Trials. The big deal. I think I seriously regretted taking Pure Sciences in Science stream, but the other road doesn't sound appealing either, with accounts and economy. I wonder how many of us, penchant in writing and linguistics, felt squashed, a face in 500 000 between our beloved school system? I have no idea. But it seemed redundant, not to mention useless, to ponder, mull and waste time on this. I'm already too far ahead; there's no more turning back. I guess I'll be relieved to strip off school uniforms for good and do what I do best.

On Tuesday afternoon, on the way home, I past through Taman Daya, a seedy neighbourhood consisting of low-cost housing area and thugs. From the road, I saw 4 scantily-clad girls walking towards the main road. I was wondering why are they wearing exposing straps and fancy short dresses and heavy make up when my heart dropped into my stomach; I recognized one of the girls. And I immediately realise why. They're heading to work as a GRO in one of those nightclubs where men go for a cheap beer or two, to grope and sing and to leer at "cheap" girls, maybe lucking out and buying cheap sex as well. This girl is from my school, heck, she's from my form, albeit she's in the class dubbed as "hopeless". Soft-spoken, she's from a family selling bread in the nerby morning market and I always knew she wasn't well-off. But, to see her that way...I'm ashen. I'm humbled. However I grip about my life, there's so many others in worst situations and if they have to resort to such a life for some gain...I haven't stopped thinking of this since. Sigh.

A visitor made this comment,
harumph... *imitating gianne's style*
now you regret eh? i regretted i didnt take art stream. all because the hushes about art stream is meant for people who cant study well. crap. who lamented that stereotype anyway? gah. i seriously thought of dropping science during the commencement of form 5, but thought against it. its to late to regret over it now, isnt it?
if i take art in form 4.. hmm.. that would be a nice thought.

jackson yeoh

A visitor made this comment,
bout the girl... it's weird, isnt it? what made her become so? friend's persuasion? the desperate need for money? or could it be willingly?
they resort to such life, because as u say, a girl in a 'hopeless' class is basically 'hopeless'... therefore she has lost her will and maybe even self-respect.
what if you were her? would you? would i? it's the easiest way to earn money.
or maybe, it may turn out that she's on her way to a costume party =P
eh, everything is possible!
hippo-ish gianne

A visitor made this comment,
With regards to your questions and thoughts on your schoolmate...well, most women do not pick that kind of work unless they have to. Try talking to a prostitute in places like Manila and Thailand and they will tell you that poverty and social ignorance is what drives them to do what they do. It is just like any other job for these women who have lost hope in themselves, society and have no education of the world around them.
Homeless people, beggars and sex workers are sometimes forced into situations that they cannot get out of simply because we 'normal' people have turned an eye on them. Sometimes they cannot get out of that situation because they see nothing else better to live for, they see nothing else different. Talk to homeless people and you'll learn that like everyone else, these people have their ups and downs.

There is a magazine here in Australia called The Big Issue and it is sold by homeless people, people who are living on the streets. Some of these homeless people have families, have education, had a job but due to illness, depression, and other 'things' have fallen out of life's favour.

Instead of dubbing your schoolmate as 'hopeless', bureaucracy such as the education ministry and its players should have tried to understand why she wasn't performing in school, why she wasn't interested in learning, why money was of necessity to them. Because sometimes when you hunger for a decent meal, the last thing on your mind is homework.

One of the few reasons - I personally think - that some of our schools do not reflect this love for literature be it Malay or English or otherwise is that our education system does not see an importance in the fundamentals of philosophy, literature and other more 'arty-farty' stuff. They do not recognize the importance that Shakespeare, Milton, Blake or Aristotle, Machiavelli, De Padua have on social and political formation and structure.

But do not let the bureaucracy get to you. Side step it - find books and readings on literature and whatever else that interests you. Sometimes I think that most Malaysians are on the losing end because we have not learnt to cultivate a love for reading and its importance. I suppose that is why our National Library isn't as well stocked and well-varied in books as compared to the libraries here in Sydney. O'well...


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