3 Aug 2003 10:41
At the moment
Song: Dreamin' of You - Selina
My brain is saying: why, why, why??!
Wishlist: Olympus M[mju:] 300 or 400 Digital Camera. I really really really need this camera..my current one worked like Stone Age and if anyone have RM1k+ to spare...
If you read my last blog's comment, "stillsober" asked me to party on. I'm convinced. I'm readying to dance like I never did, order champagne, finger food and inviting guests.
Except, well, I'm not entirely sure s/he's sober. I mean, alamak, SPM's in a couple of months and s/he's telling me to party? Everyone else is telling me to buck up! It's a one-way street to hell for me, baby!
Meaning no offense, of course. You see, a tiny, tiny bit of me really want to believe the party part. But huge, huge part of me is saying no. My heart, mind, head and brain is arguing once more, of course. This inner battle will tire me so entirely reading about genetics for Bio might cost me my life. Being dramatic again.
I'm so crappy nowadays. Bullshitting and talking cock and not making sense. Manical maniac. I know I haven't been entirely honest in my blogs, but hello, I'm not even honest with myself. See? For once I'm honestly admitting what a dishonourable crackpot I am.
Spent the entire day wasted in Amcorp Mall. Sigh. Spending yet another in same place tomorrow. Sigh. Wasting my entire weekend. Sigh. And I cannot even express honestly what I feel about this wastage. Don't expect me to tell you either. I'm trying my best not to put feelings into words. Or I'll start bawling. Sigh. Wasting another 2 days of driving lessons for some fawking performance with choir. Why did I agree in the first place?! No more being sympathetic, Pui Yee! Be very very selfish! Self-centred people are the most sucessful ones! Shut your ears to pleas and sweet-talking. Groaaaaaan. I'm in such a mess....help. Get me outta here.
It seems I've spent my life wasting it. Maybe my being a person is a waste of time.
And oh. I'm not in a bad or sour mood. I'm not even depressed. I'm just crapping. Remember? I'm perfectly normal and if anyone were to talk to me, they'll hear a normal voice talking in normal tones about normal topics in a normal way. See? Told you I'm normal.
By the by, anyone with instructions on "How to gain a place in the funny farm" please leave a message.
Last but not least, I noticed a sudden surge in comments made yesterday. First, I'd like to thank the person who gave me advice about Mass. Comm in LUCT and Journalism. You've served as an inspiration :). Might wanna take your footsteps, except I'm going to major in Journalism and Advertising or something else...not TV and Film, definitely.
Secondly, the two persons writing about Akademi Fantasia..? I agree the prize of RM 10 000 is small compared to what it can be, but c'mon. Astro gave them fame. It's more important, right? Who's gonna care about some RM 10k when recording companies offer lucrative contracts? If it wasn't for Astro, who's know about Khai's twisted obsession with Nemo the cat or his, ahem, talents? I just hate the exploiting part, asking us to vote through SMS. I hate popularity games. So superficial and shallow. Oh. And Vincent Chong is my friend Amelia's cousin. You can visit her via the link in the gutter on your left (on your MONITOR!).
A visitor made this comment,
You're welcome. Btw, a note on the course in LUCT - don't know if it's still the same now as it was when I was there in 2001. Film & TV is expensive and problematic, especially if you have trouble organizing yourself (it is very taxing but fun). Advertising is not too bad but I have had friends who complained non-stop about the workload and lecturers. Bleh. Journalism isn't too bad but naturally the range of subjects you can take at Curtin is better than in Msia (you can take subjects like newspaper production, radio broadcasting production - in a proper newsroom and radio studio - at Curtin).
Hmmm...I hope everything goes well with you (and SPM). Good luck! And honestly, now that I look back at it, SPM is a piece of cake! Relax, have fun studying smart...and honestly, it isn't the world. :) I got horrible grades for SPM (still Grade 1 but aggregate was about 20) - but excelled in college (as in distinctions, high distinctions and credits - averages up to 80-90).
If you like to keep in touch, just visit my blog. I believe I added a link - am too lazy to log in - spend last night having a nice chat with my boyfriend. :)
ps: Hope to see you in LUCT if I get hired as a lecturer. :)