31 Jul 2003 22:48
At the moment
Song: Mariah Carey - One Sweet Day
Word: Can't think of any.
My brain is saying: Brain is comatose...ugh lack of sleep and no naps...
Wishlist: Olympus M[mju:] 300 or 400 Digital Camera. I really really really need this camera..my current one worked like Stone Age and if anyone have RM1k+ to spare...
This is dreadful. I'm typing with my hands flat resting on my keyboard with half the speed I'm used to. I'm so sleepy but I can't go to sleep. I was in history and I was asleep for a couple of minutes, wake up, circle the right answers and fall asleep for a few minutes, wake up, circle answers...blah blah blah.
Yesterday somehow I must've relayed the blues over SMS; an old net pal manage to smell melancholy after the 2nd message. Incredible. He was worried for once (in years) and I guessed I was touched at his concern. Well yeah. Wasn't feeling too high anymore. In fact, due to 2:30 am bedtime for 3 day in a row minus the afternoon nap, I'm pretty braindead. Another reason is...of course...well...seeing agents bringing potential buyers to check my house out. Yeah, we're selling. The man bought his wife in the afternoon and I refused to open my bedroom door because my room was in Hurricane Disaster Area. Morever, I had on tatty old ripped clothes. And you know what? After dinner I showered and wore pyjamas although it was only 8:30 pm and the doorbell rung. I was shocked. It was the same couple, now with his 3 sons. Apparently he was impressed enough to bring his entire family over. Now, you must remember I'm in my pyjamas. I wanted to change, but thought the better of it. They intrude upon us. Not the other way round. My brother had thorn over that family. They offered a good deal but on condition that we leave certain furniture for their use. And they had the cheek to say they want to buy my DOG, to which my brother glare at them instantly. Why would anyone want old furnitures and a stupid monster of a dog when it's so obvious the can afford new things? When they check my room out I can only sit at the hall outside and wince. It's messy enough but the man's comments on my glow-in-the-dark stars is a bit lame. What's wrong with indulging myself on sights of man-made galaxy nightly, eh? And I hated it when the eldest son grinned and asked "This your room?". Like, duh. Pretty decent family, though. Sons ranging from 15-24. The eldest's supposed to be from my school making him my senior. His father kept on insisting his son is a good looking and popular fella in school, don't I recognize him?
Well yeah. How do you expect me to recognize someone who left school the year before I enter? Idiotic. I don't deny the good looking part though. He's cute alright. Full stop.
Had another tarot card reading Tuesday night. Wasn't so good...it warned me about things ...argh. Things that are so true I cannot hide them anymore. Until, of course, a 3-card set turns a page, wands and cups cards out. Which er, refer to love life. Of which I have no partaking of, although it wasn't my choice. Mom kept asking if I'm in a relationship. I was confused. There's not one guy in my life. Not even a crush. And here they are, cards talking about it. Whatever.
Lately I felt a little empty. Like, I need someone who care for me. Who'll take care of me. Like, a companion. SMSing some guy isn't gonna fill in that emptiness. In school there's a couple whose relationship's been going on for a couple of months. They had nothing hot and heavy, just holding hands and sitting close to each other. The guy is really considerate, buying her food during recess, giving her the best cuts from his own bowl and sharing his meal although she finished hers. When she sleep in class he'll just sit quietly observing her, or accompanying her when she's alone. Whatever they feel for each other is just so...I don't know...tender..? All the years I've seen and felt disgusted with some classmate's relationships but not these two. Whatever they had might develop, but it might also fade. But theirs is something to be treasured, I guess. Am I jealous? Nah. But envy, yeah...yeah.
The BRATs thing ain't confirmed yet, I called the paper's office up and the lady said, no problem, there's a few older BRATs in PJ and KL who'll be heading up to Lumut as well and she'll give me their contact numbers on Monday because she's currently busy with the Subang Run. Mom said she'll call to double check, but it look optimistic enough. The letter's still sitting on the phone rack. Oh well.
Come what may.
A visitor made this comment,
argh you're selling? Man..when? Oh darn..dey one day me gonna serbu your place for one last time.. take some pics and stuff..like a last hang out there..watch some crap movie or something okay?