Friday, March 16, 2007

Voices in my head

3 May 2003 22:57
At the moment
Song: --
Mood: Worried
Word: Blank
My brain is saying: Oh man...

As the title suggests, I'm beginning to hear voices in my head. Voices telling me I'm a hopeless case because I'l so gonna fail my exams and I'm in FORM FIVE, FOR GOD'S SAKE! No, NO, NOoOO! I cannot fail! I cannot see another red single digit marks, EVER! I'll go inanely insane! I-N-S-A-N-E! So, I'll go study. Easy said then done. ARGH! My brain is rebelling! It's telling me it's not gonna read anything more about tigmotropism! It's not gonna take another battering of proving that Sin (A + B) = Cos A Cos B - Sin A Sin B! (Or, er, is it the other way round?).....ARGHHHHH! Heck, I'm forcing my brain to behave it's ladylike self and succumb to eventuality. I'm, what's the saying? Gonna grit my teeth and STUDY. NOW. NOW!

Okay, not quite yet. Some points to spew out.

On Wednesday, after chem tuition, I was sitting in the car chatting with my mum when I noticed a weird scene. Traffic was congested, it was a major road and a bunch of people were trying to navigate across the busy, night road. Sounds like a typical Malaysian affair, right? You wanna know the irony? A few metres, maybe 10 m or so away, there's 5 pedestrian traffic lights. The kind you press on, wait 2 minutes for it to go green and cross. It's stewpid, right, risking your life when you can wait two minutes for CLEAR roads instead of taking 5 minutes and stopping in the middle of the 4 lane road? Where's all this people's common sense? Their knowledge of their road rights? Why's WRONG with our people ?!

Moving on. Today, in school, as a class, I felt collectively insulted and resented school authorities. Reason? We were the only sci stream class told to go to some so-called motivational talk by some so-called profesional lecturer with some so-called credits and taught in some so-called elite schools. Oh, did I mention I was so insulted? The rest was arts stream problematic kids. As to why, let me tell you:

-The moment we enter the room, that sonovabitch yelled at us to fill in seats front to back, as if we're pigs herded to the slaughterhouse *fattest in front! fast! oink! oink!*

-He introduced himself, told us about his unwanted life history `Oh I was born in the toilet of a rubberestate barn. My daddy's a rubber tapper my mama's a housewife. My daddy cannot afford so I got scholarships. My doctorate is from this, this and that PhD. Oh, in 1991 I was caught by police for leaking SPM exam questions. I quit my teaching job and freelance now as motivational speaker. Oh. My name is Rozey Bapuk. `Dr.'is an alternative. It's okay. You all can call me Rozey. I have 4 kids, all in religious schools.' NO fabrication. I swear to God that's what he said. True and true. Okay...just one lie...find it.

-Sonovabitch insulted us by calling us lazy asses and not using our brains. Hello? Half the girls walked out before 30 minutes is up. I wanted to. My friend pulled me back. I'm prefect. Got a bloody image to keep up. So I contain myself rolling my eyes, glaring at him and refusing to answer or acknowledge his witty and charismatic personality. Imagine, a hairy big man yelling, sweating, spitting over words like `WHAT YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE, HUH? BEST ATTENDANCE IN SCHOOL? MOST HELPFUL STUDENT? NooOooOooO! YOU. WANT. TO. BE. BEST. AND COMING TO SCHOOL EVERYDAY DOESN'T GUARANTEE THAT.' Huh? Right. Sure.

-Sonovabitch was invited by our school Lap-sap Poh (trash lady) aka caunselor. I swear upon God, if she's the last caunselor on earth, I'll commit suicide, sin or no sin. She's one ultimate lady you must witness once in your lifetime. Everybody speculate and agree on one thing. She have no mirrors in her house. Her blush can be applied THICKLY, one on her cheekbones, another at the proximity of her mouth. Her tudung seems to be askew every day. Hair flying out from every direction, exposed toenails remind you of vultures. Expecto Disgusto, Harry Potter would say.

Enuff said. Might have nightmares tonight from my cruel words.

GenieOnTheLoose made this comment,
ahahaha, the only thing missing from this is the rotten vegetables and eggs. i know your feeling... school authorities asking 'professional' and 'most wanted' people to give lectures. sometimes, i wonder if they are compulsive liars, in telling the lecturer's qualifications. anyway, yours seem energetic, but in a very unnecessary way. can be very irritating. btw, add math is only till the second bab dearie. =P
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